Return of the Hydra: prologue

Ragnars Mijmeringen

Determined to deal with that treacherous Simonides for once and for all, Ragnar marched with a steady tred through that accursed forest. Today he would get rid of it, today was the day, Ragnar thought, finally!
However, the Almighty Kern would not be Kern if he did not put Ragnar to the test once more… Two females of that inferior race came running towards them, begging for help. Apparently the self-proclaimed high-level cleric, The Masked One was in some deep nigger shit! Damn it, it seemed that vermin Simonides would live a little longer than Ragnar anticipated. ‘What was the life of a good character heavy labour,’ he mused ‘, the bad guys just do as they please, while I have to save every self-proclaimed level 15 cleric…’

Soon the temple appeared before them, together with a bunch of ‘skeleton monkey’s’ aka
more niggers, soon aided by ‘a whole shitload of minions’, as Matunde put it. Their own big nigger seemed to feel an insupressable hatred towards the little buggerers. Very interesting, but Ragnar had other things to worry about. “Damn it,” the centurio cursed “, what kind of infernal moron has put me in the back with my 20 feet movement, while the high movement guys placed themselves very tactically in front?” War tactics were a rare gift, certainly for niggers, women and guys too fat to have seen their own Johnson in the last decades. Ragnar reminded himself his allies held no real blame, genetically burdened as they were.

After four rounds and a lot of ‘keep breathing, that’s the key’ and ‘we paladins are natural sprinters, very dangerous on the short distance!’, Ragnar reached the battlefield. With his help the hooded mummy guarding the entrance was soon disposed of, as wel as those skinny niggers (except for Super Minion, giving Charis and her 3-attacks-per-round the finger for a great deal of time). Ragnar, boosted in movement en strength by the lovely fat Theron went into the temple, killed some minions then killed another mummy weakling and killed some more small nigger minions, for good measure.
But Ragnar was too late … the cleric level 20 was fallen… and Ragnar stood alone against 3 level 9 spellcasters, 2 level 4 archers, two mummies, and 10 minions, while his three allies on the other side were still fighting one single Skeleton Warrior… Kallithea seemed to be mortally afraid of her opponent and his ‘Silencer’ Longbow, the bane of every vuvuzela-player.
He should not expect too much help from his allies, Ragnar thought. Son how in Kerns Holy Name would he rescue that level 25 cleric?



I'm sorry, but we no longer support this web browser. Please upgrade your browser or install Chrome or Firefox to enjoy the full functionality of this site.